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The Lovely Bones (be continued...............)

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发表于 2009-10-11 03:08:28 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 小爱不爱 于 2009-10-11 03:11 编辑 + u7 K8 g* V' G% X/ j4 K; I2 G

, M" E# U( f$ P- |  b《可爱的骨头》这一部不可能拍成电影的小说已经成功的拍摄完成,本来在3月份就可以看首映,但是基于一些原因,所以此片将会在12底发布,一部很不错的小说。 因为老师要我看一本英文书,我选择这部小说来当我的书评,所以介绍给大家。 , _" [$ W: v9 v: B; }' t7 S* U; k
此小说主要是通过一个14岁女孩被强奸及毁尸之后在天堂俯瞰人间的家人怎么悲痛,又怎么走出人生。1 v# q& ~; |; g9 e

" h- G2 E; o0 X! m1 l) w) ^因为文章有20多节,所以每次上传1节* X& X6 s+ r/ L: m! X, D# N  c% {
% s) M/ [5 |% B
The Lovely Bones    by     Alice Sebold
5 s- G; i- ?7 Y, r  T% J6 k8 d; k+ D3 [. H' K' O
Inside the snow globe on my father's desk, there was a penguin wearing a  M8 p( f) Q! A4 {& t/ w
red and white striped scarf. When I was little my father would pull me( ?; C' d# ~& l6 m: q' F
into his lap and reach for the snow globe. He would turn it over,& ?0 E% z4 r* G* c3 j& B
letting all the snow collect on the top, then quickly invert it. The two
3 ]' |7 n2 ?2 W* z1 `, z. `of us watched the snow fall gently around the penguin. The penguin was
9 v. Q+ _! d5 \; V6 g. t+ qalone in there, I thought, and I worried for him. When I told my father
) e. z7 W) B2 C1 u" b2 B. H- Sthis, he said, "Don't worry, Susie; he has a nice life. He's trapped in
# S# ^8 [. I. x7 A+ @a perfect world."8 M5 [+ ]& k8 i; f/ c5 n

* i5 h% d* x& r+ I6 u. X& E0 b/ cONE2 U5 G9 I+ L  f  v
My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was
) C, j; e" ^3 K- Z% x  ]* g8 }fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973. In newspaper photos of
# g2 R- [: J! Zmissing girls from the seventies, most looked like me: white girls with6 W8 X8 s+ x. d9 L% q  I  v
mousy brown hair. This was before kids of all races and genders started2 d: d# m6 U) G+ F0 ^1 k
appearing on milk cartons or in the daily mail. It was still back when( e, w, a$ B  u3 I
people believed things like that didn't happen.
0 R3 I- Z& L; x* n* fIn my junior high yearbook I had a quote from a Spanish poet my sister4 G7 g( t: Y7 R: n& \
had turned me on to, Juan Ramon Jimenez. It went like this: "If they
( A9 _( m5 H7 N6 w+ M' Zgive you ruled paper, write the other way." I chose it both because it
% e% h% w' @5 F* A0 X. v1 Bexpressed my contempt for my structured surroundings a la the classroom! H. R% R1 K: `  [
and because, not being some dopey quote from a rock group, I thought it
; V$ S7 F- Q1 f$ Emarked me as literary. I was a member of the Chess Club and Chem Club) E% @; `" j% d( i' b: z4 J
and burned everything I tried to make in Mrs. Delminico's home ec class.2 h: i5 v4 ~) |; `& ^2 f
My favorite teacher was Mr. Botte, who taught biology and liked to
2 ], y/ i* S4 Tanimate the frogs and crawfish we had to dissect by making them dance in! T  {/ _' P3 m. k  j9 k
their waxed pans.% S& p* o: }" x% K; h0 q
I wasn't killed by Mr. Botte, by the way. Don't think every person" T, b; D0 b) _) v
you're going to meet in here is suspect. That's the problem. You never6 Y% H* W; d3 R0 y4 a
know. Mr. Botte came to my memorial (fas?), may I add, as did almost the2 Y: b1 G  Q" g' n, z' t# ?
entire junior high school (I was never so popular) and cried quite a, p* H/ d9 B3 l* G$ p+ R" z- K
bit. He had a sick kid. We all knew this, so when he laughed at his own
& f4 V. l4 _7 o8 G+ bjokes, which were rusty way before I had him, we laughed too, forcing it' ]; [6 e# i; s8 a' J
sometimes just to make him happy. His daughter died a year and a half5 R6 M2 O' x8 {/ w" w
after I did. She had leukemia, but I never saw her in my heaven.
! a& |1 O* `+ @/ ^My murderer was a man from our neighborhood. My mother liked his
% z$ ]& E0 w2 \; J9 g" Z! Zborder flowers, and my father talked to him once about fertilizer. My! `* U3 k, h2 C
murderer believed in old-fashioned things like eggshells and coffee) _* D1 ]/ o- `1 j$ e* I
grounds, which he said his own mother had used. My father came home
0 g6 t( e8 \, y3 Y) s* ?2 Ysmiling, making jokes about how the man's garden might be beautiful but8 m$ I- x5 n" K7 ^5 b+ O
it would stink to high heaven once a heat wave hit.7 G( Z3 Z9 r* G, _# E
But on December 6, 1973, it was snowing, and I took a shortcut through* _; P6 D3 N0 B* u* L
the cornfield back from the junior high. It was dark out because the
; f' Y( X9 ~7 N* ndays were shorter in winter, and I remember how the broken cornstalks
- |- j" o$ M! B; Kmade my walk more difficult. The snow was falling lightly, like a flurry
. T) y9 ?, H  O, W- J% |of small hands, and I was breathing through my nose until it was running
! l2 m6 m( p9 ~4 t' Jso much that I had to open my mouth. Six feet from where Mr. Harvey
' I! X. O' i* D& q7 j3 }stood, I stuck my tongue out to taste a snowflake.  g  E2 ~% B5 f3 u9 W% B. F" K" M0 z
"Don't let me startle you," Mr. Harvey said.
. s1 A& p) N/ UOf course, in a cornfield, in the dark, I was startled. After I was
) Y1 M6 x. R  ]+ C2 m. t7 Y9 L; v' \dead I thought about how there had been the light scent of cologne in+ F! I! }: H# M2 b* H2 J6 F/ u+ G9 \
the air but that I had not been paying attention, or thought it was
8 r4 C8 ?7 U" F$ u1 p. G# x# {; G, `coming from one of the houses up ahead
1 b+ o& y5 d2 j/ F+ a"Mr. Harvey, "I said.# U4 J: x; a1 U8 u  O6 w
"You're the older Salmon girl, right?"- v9 f. x. k/ l) t; `, B
"Yes."
0 ^/ B/ o: Z8 ~# Y# p( b6 K"How are your folks?"
: S2 h' I! L8 mAlthough the eldest in my family and good at acing a science quiz, I
6 A0 }- m( ^' }7 s" chad never felt comfortable with adults.- `# d4 w4 U. Y7 [5 }* U
"Fine," I said. I was cold, but the natural authority of his age, and. m+ J; }: X( M  n' @) e
the added fact that he was a neighbor and had talked to my father about6 Y1 }( d; y0 u1 D$ S$ W: P. @; [! T' f1 f
fertilizer, rooted me to the spot.+ `$ z8 l; r$ m( ~
"I've built something back here," he said. "Would you like to see?”
5 b! y7 G( K" d- Y$ X, E- v"I'm sort of cold, Mr. Harvey," I said, "and my mom likes me
. S! y! c) f6 Dhome before dark."
; F) d* a7 @) M$ Y"Its after dark, Susie," he said.  K0 Q: u8 U7 m
I wish now that I had known this was weird. I had never told him my
& |+ }6 @6 M4 Q0 A# B$ U# G: ?- r+ Oname. I guess I thought my father had told him one of the embarrassing+ L4 t2 C0 X9 @( V" f9 r
anecdotes he saw merely as loving testaments to his children. My father/ L9 }3 F. U, s/ K
was the kind of dad who kept a nude photo of you when you were three in
; [8 A3 F# M& s) w; K$ othe downstairs bathroom, the one that guests would use. He did this to
; v7 S6 U2 Y- b0 E' X- A. z9 }! Lmy little sister, Lindsey, thank God. At least I was spared that6 j4 w2 e2 {1 R$ V* d
indignity. But he liked to tell a story about how, once Lindsey was: S7 P2 n1 {8 g0 z$ L, K
born, I was so jealous that one day while he was on the phone in the
" n, P; D+ j3 p7 x( Nother room, I moved down the couch - he could see me from where he stood/ Y; Y  W- `. p9 q
- and tried to pee on top of Lindsey in her carrier. This story; }0 {0 @! @' N3 j. N# K* q  [
humiliated me every time he told it, to the pastor of our church, to our4 B' r! Y* G9 T7 x2 y! {
neighbor Mrs. Stead, who was a therapist and whose take on it he wanted
7 B+ L: i' W( Fto hear, and to everyone who ever said "Susie has a lot of spunk!"" M& u% u( h. m+ u
"Spunk!" my father would say. "Let me tell you about spunk," and he; F1 s$ o2 W) M5 m; F2 |
would launch immediately into his Susie-peed-on-Lindsey story.2 [* S- W( P0 r9 v7 f
But as it turned out, my father had not mentioned us to Mr. Harvey or
2 d4 X/ t' e7 i2 A: X. Xtold him the Susie-peed-on-Lindsey story.8 H" l! Q. B$ N4 \
Mr. Harvey would later say these words to my mother when he ran into her8 w3 j$ ^' L- y, ]7 L4 |, v1 ?
on the street: "I heard about the horrible, horrible tragedy. What was4 S4 \3 `# F! x( I
your daughter's name, again?"
, I3 V- b  A+ x! `( X"Susie," my mother said, bracing up under the weight of it, a weight
0 s4 |' U1 p6 x& xthat she naively hoped might lighten someday, not knowing that it would. n. D5 r# q0 C9 P/ R7 C& a
only go on to hurt in new and varied ways for the rest of her life.: H: r. _1 Y) _* O
Mr. Harvey told her the usual: "I hope they get the bastard. I'm sorry* a% S# z: _1 o% n' M  R
for your loss."
6 q' H$ s% ]5 e# |' ^I was in my heaven by that time, fitting my limbs together, and
4 h& P+ o! Y; v6 @5 Y3 \+ a& pcouldn't believe his audacity. "The man has no shame," I said to Franny,( t4 C( P3 ^: d  F
my intake counselor. "Exactly," she said, and made her point as simply
* l5 ^4 A$ f9 was that. There wasn't a lot of bullshit in my heaven.2 T: Y: Y! @+ }
Mr. Harvey said it would only take a minute, so I followed him a
* Z  M, \! k& v4 flittle farther into the cornfield, where fewer stalks were broken off
7 y- ^9 Y# p. l0 `: V$ kbecause no one used it as a shortcut to the junior high. My mom had told; h7 ?1 r8 L+ z) w  d1 N' {/ m; r
my baby brother, Buckley, that the corn in the field was inedible when( p- `( @1 s% v) \& ~
he asked why no one from the neighborhood ate it. "The corn is for
( }& a) N9 m& H/ [horses, not humans," she said. "Not dogs?" Buckley asked. "No," my
4 `0 X. C6 \; m% o2 J! o" g. p; q3 tmother answered. "Not dinosaurs?" Buckley asked. And it went like that.
& i4 U# B' Z9 L2 C7 p$ S. h"I've made a little hiding place," said Mr. Harvey.% W( u! n* P& w6 f: ^
He stopped and turned to me.' x5 |5 {' j) P
"I don't see anything," I said. I was aware that Mr. Harvey was0 s: V  s8 ^" u
looking at me strangely. I'd had older men look at me that way since I'd% V! J5 }1 G8 B7 r9 |" |2 c( X
lost my baby fat, but they usually didn't lose their marbles over me
" A$ _* S/ x9 f  swhen I was wearing my royal blue parka and yellow elephant bell-bottoms.4 a* n  j' u, }5 [  V/ U0 J7 p6 @% b
His glasses were small and round with gold frames, and his eyes looked
% g6 n% W# J0 sout over them and at me.# u/ n6 [* D. p" @3 U6 G
"You should be more observant, Susie," he said.
5 l4 i! U+ g$ A$ D) a) aI felt like observing my way out of there, but I didn't. Why didn't I?' X  {$ n3 }( k: _0 w" {
Franny said these questions were fruitless: "You didn't and that's that.. L# B, K; O& q% w2 i
Don't mull it over. It does no good. You're dead and you have to accept
& i( `6 w8 Q6 F  E8 p4 j: [2 ]$ Rit."* ^/ [  T; C5 S, v+ a* m
"Try again," Mr. Harvey said, and he squatted down and knocked against: V! W) U, \2 O4 e. Z$ C7 W6 f
the ground.
& l/ y2 U0 `+ x  S0 \"What's that?” I asked.
0 |% ^! `- j$ U5 u9 J# X( rMy ears were freezing. I wouldn't wear the multicolored cap with the3 q) N$ v4 u+ T7 Q! M; q2 `0 k
pompom and jingle bells that my mother had made me one Christmas. I had
' s1 {, _3 a0 z  \1 I! v( |- Tshoved it in the pocket of my parka instead.
  i( t+ G  l6 f  k, t: O7 k& ?I remember that I went over and stomped on the ground near him. It
- ]/ G+ U" t8 N% Y( Efelt harder even than frozen earth, which was pretty hard.
0 \, |8 \9 S4 r/ _"It's wood," Mr. Harvey said. "It keeps the entrance from collapsing.
( p, U4 ~6 x1 g6 E7 a. \Other than that it's all made out of earth."3 z4 ?0 o- R3 D- N( t6 y( i
"What is it?" I asked. I was no longer cold or weirded out by the look
) L' g" q% ?. A4 S- c/ _he had given me. I was like I was in science class: I was curious.
) w- c1 x( K+ u. ^"Come and see,". a8 |: y, m. _- ^" U4 ~8 Q0 ~
It was awkward to get into, that much he admitted once we were both5 J& [, p, H6 u( X9 _7 D
inside the hole. But I was so amazed by how he had made a chimney that
  R( D# r$ ^) Q; Q) Jwould draw smoke out if he ever chose to build a fire that the
8 a& y% d% c! _# b9 Xawkwardness of getting in and out of the hole wasn't even on my mind.
8 f7 i1 U$ m+ R' w% fYou could add to that that escape wasn't a concept I had any real/ o4 ~2 W- k( E7 d0 W) ~4 ~! T
experience with. The worst I'd had to escape was Artie, a strangelooking! M: O3 S4 {0 A  K( l
kid at school whose father was a mortician. He liked to pretend  m4 t' d: j- y
he was carrying a needle full of embalming fluid around with him. On his- y9 P  r3 n, Z4 R6 d: `8 a
notebooks he would draw needles spilling dark drips.
/ _" @! ^& m8 h: o+ l$ W"This is neato!" I said to Mr. Harvey. He could have been the6 A" z8 ^7 O$ l" L5 m* ^3 E: Y8 R
hunchback of Notre Dame, whom we had read about in French class. I
0 z7 s4 N! q& F2 e( tdidn't care. I completely reverted. I was my brother Buckley on our daytrip
: ^; a, |( w" wto the Museum of Natural History in New York, where he'd fallen in
, }2 Q% ?9 ]6 ]9 w8 i( p6 W2 [" ?love with the huge skeletons on display. I hadn't used the word neato in: ^1 i$ |. o7 n! x9 l
public since elementary school.! W! r6 X" B; u+ \7 S6 b4 ?. W
"Like taking candy from a baby," Franny said.
# ?" t, M% D  s8 l8 K( I1 q1 ~I can still see the hole like it was yesterday, and it was. Life is a) j% s9 v2 l0 {# j1 j; }
perpetual yesterday for us. It was the size of a small room, the mud
: X8 r" W" n: `5 Kroom in our house, say, where we kept our boots and slickers and where; Y0 {9 ?7 f+ N1 O
Mom had managed to fit a washer and dryer, one on top of the other. I
( R' D9 M+ _3 |1 u( t1 ycould almost stand up in it, but Mr. Harvey had to stoop. He'd created a' H6 J( l; [" q% m0 J; G) b  L
bench along the sides of it by the way he'd dug it out. He immediately
# _6 s# a: z5 O" E2 Msat down.* O5 ]' Q/ F8 e7 y- C3 j1 g
"Look around," he said.9 F: u- B  Y3 ~5 }* z" i
I stared at it in amazement, the dug-out shelf above him where he had
  v- c; A& Y) }) kplaced matches, a row of batteries, and a battery-powered fluorescent& U: |. g% w, P8 b3 s
lamp that cast the only light in the room, an eerie light that would
, G6 `8 A& ^. `% Nmake his features hard to see when he was on top of me.; y$ W2 U' a6 s* Y3 F$ V
There was a mirror on the shelf, and a razor and shaving cream. I  F0 l" v( n4 J) i3 {4 E
thought that was odd. Wouldn't he do that at home? But I guess I figured0 S" P& M; V" b2 B, S7 N6 V, q
that a man who had a perfectly good split-level and then built an$ b/ b% ]1 ?3 W& R0 }: B
underground room only half a mile away had to be kind of loo-loo. My
/ M& H* U) s! G: K- `& xfather had a nice way of describing people like him: "The man's a+ @# I1 a- F( k  r0 F6 G
character, that's all."+ y! `1 `* W5 s. Q
So I guess I was thinking that Mr. Harvey was a character, and I liked
# I8 o+ q0 G7 `the room, and it was warm, and I wanted to know how he had built it,
4 U2 L3 K4 U" `  |9 ~7 j7 mwhat the mechanics of the thing were and where he'd learned to do4 o/ }; N) B* f% |
something like that.
* `3 s$ \1 l- R+ R3 NBut by the time the Gilberts' dog found my elbow three days later and( t1 C$ [- ~! G3 [% t$ Z
brought it home with a telling corn husk attached to it, Mr. Harvey had) t  y; ^" t& t
closed it up. I was in transit during this. I didn't get to see him2 L! T3 Y# B$ t) [) q, l
sweat it out, remove the wood reinforcement, bag any evidence along with; O3 z9 X1 o' [( t
my body parts, except that elbow. By the time I popped up with enough
* H, j( Q0 ]4 {' @wherewithal to look down at the goings-on on Earth, I was more concerned
' l. I3 V  d, ?; n' W/ G2 d4 Owith my family than anything else." V2 B5 ]; R" U5 R$ j1 |
My mother sat on a hard chair by the front door with her mouth open.. I; J( I2 m0 B
Her pale face paler than I had ever seen it. Her blue eyes staring. My
3 V9 n) g. _0 h3 D+ V  hfather was driven into motion. He wanted to know details and to comb the0 ?; S  d: E8 o; |2 C* q
cornfield along with the cops. I still thank God for a small detective
8 v8 B3 Z' g3 r! Wnamed Len Fenerman. He assigned two uniforms to take my dad into town. o( e5 H! ?+ c/ |0 s
and have him point out all the places I'd hung out with my friends. The
8 M" A3 C& R; ^( H7 c! ]5 Auniforms kept my dad busy in one mall for the whole first day. No one- J$ v5 g' [, s# \' P
had told Lindsey, who was thirteen and would have been old enough, or
& I5 @! I" {0 CBuckley, who was four and would, to be honest, never fully understand.
2 M& R8 `5 t0 iMr. Harvey asked me if I would like a refreshment. That was how he put
& ~) W) e# W0 |8 z3 ait. I said I had to go home.
4 T9 ?/ Z. \* x- X: o! }"Be polite and have a Coke," he said. I’m sure the other kids would."! ]- |. l! {2 F  A* h7 E5 u
"What other kids?"
. w" H( U) a! g( k4 I& @0 R/ n4 W"I built this for the kids in the neighborhood. I thought it could be
/ Y4 ^7 Q* T0 p0 _some sort of clubhouse."
6 [; H- u# Y; Y( nI don't think I believed this even then. I thought he was lying but I
5 n7 n/ h/ j8 b" e" g, W/ j  T- ^thought it was a pitiful lie. I imagined he was lonely. We had read
* a* A! k, n5 n" {0 A) ~" Rabout men like him in health class. Men who never married and ate frozen
/ v# t, [9 G$ e2 a$ B  w7 Rmeals every night and were so afraid of rejection that they didn't even
/ m9 L3 f( _3 C' Rown pets. I felt sorry for him.
. H" x3 Y* @6 l3 v8 Q"Okay," I said, "I'll have a Coke."- i( M3 r: l4 {1 P9 J( {( Z! B
In a little while he said, "Aren't you warm, Susie? Why don't you take
! q1 s/ N1 V3 ^7 u8 r0 }7 g/ k" Y% |off your parka,"4 s" T9 o9 w9 Q' a/ s. r) R
I did.
* W# k1 B& c1 `( W0 R) m% Y, oAfter this he said, "You're very pretty, Susie."
2 c7 Z, A% f& f+ x! R0 I  ["Thanks," I said, even though he gave me what my friend Clarissa and I' s* ~# S" Y4 q' l! `
had dubbed the skeevies.6 [5 W9 N% F8 a" I' A( ^* B
"Do you have a boyfriend?"6 w$ ^6 f. \) D/ {
"No, Mr. Harvey," I said. I swallowed the rest of my Coke, which was a
' ]" U9 U" y' H" Y" Zlot, and said, "I got to go, Mr. Harvey. This is a cool place, but I6 y& J4 d( w3 a
have to go."- Y0 N" s( v5 V* U- U
He stood up and did his hunchback number by the six dug-in steps that4 c) Y- d. e" W' F/ i" W
led to the world. "I don't know why you think you're leaving."2 [( r1 w! k) j7 G3 P, G& ^
I talked so that I would not have to take in this knowledge: Mr.
" A2 W* ~. Z+ ]1 Q2 @Harvey was no character. He made me feel skeevy and icky now that he was: U3 w4 B$ G( B0 ~7 F' n- r3 m
blocking the door.; U4 F& z5 d4 U/ d
"Mr. Harvey, I really have to get home."
2 T5 A) V" @- C. d3 u0 A  F, g" T"Take off your clothes."
( o# i4 C- N: Z; T"What?"
, E: ~- R" w  m% o0 ~! }; c"Take your clothes off," Mr. Harvey said. "I want to check that you're3 ?! |  h; a( [# ?# u8 N! [" P/ v* G
still a virgin."
: g6 x: z; [5 k' ^& k  a/ P* g"I am, Mr. Harvey," T said.+ C+ o1 j/ H: _3 `0 `" \' C  P! a
"I want to make sure. Your parents will thank me."7 M$ \4 c, g3 [1 f
"My parents?"! f4 d$ J. `: Q. R, ?+ K1 W4 Z
"They only want good girls," he said.) {% {6 C% T2 l" Y0 p7 V: h( u' k
"Mr. Harvey," I said, "please let me leave."9 H; N1 K. w1 R/ [
"You aren't leaving, Susie. You're mine now."
- Q# v" w; P5 ]4 L# MFitness was not a big thing back then; aerobics was barely a word.3 U" H) \1 g5 q
Girls were supposed to be soft, and only the girls we suspected were
+ L3 q* _" H7 I9 Xbutch could climb the ropes at school.
$ g- ~3 v$ a6 E0 q8 F. ]: KI fought hard. I fought as hard as I could not to let Mr. Harvey hurt
7 ?+ g/ f7 f2 u( ]8 {( qme, but my hard-as-I-could was not hard enough, not even close, and I
$ Z0 V7 f- M% |' kwas soon lying down on the ground, in the ground, with him on top of me
, c6 K1 e7 S! Q/ gpanting and sweating, having lost his glasses in the struggle.' P8 _5 y% v* g; Y
I was so alive then. I thought it was the worst thing in the world to
/ C8 s* {, X7 P) a- \- kbe lying flat on my back with a sweating man on top of me. To be trapped* x1 G0 \# g  I( t" D+ `3 C' Y
inside the earth and have no one know where I was.
  y& J1 D: d, l' H) ]# L# xI thought of my mother.0 W; q* M+ l4 w8 B
My mother would be checking the dial of the clock on her oven. It was3 t9 c) w7 h" N+ z3 x7 P5 i% v
a new oven and she loved that it had a clock on it. "I can time things! W5 X% C' R6 F% c* Y
to the minute," she told her own mother, a mother who couldn't care less
9 Y$ Z- i$ Z' ~7 U5 y" T& E2 Uabout ovens.! W2 p. \7 {" V2 ~
She would be worried, but more angry than worried, at my lateness. As my
1 C, j1 _* }2 L( f4 u7 }4 afather pulled into the garage, she would rush about, fixing him a
2 b. O* c5 H3 g$ i9 U* {cocktail, a dry sherry, and put on an exasperated face: "You know junior
: [: K8 E& F" T% whigh," she would say. "Maybe it's Spring Fling." "Abigail," my father
* X2 N9 U$ j7 k+ F' ?3 B: awould say, "how can it be Spring Fling when it's snowing?" Having failed
4 K. @& w2 y& b; U5 rwith this, my mother might rush Buckley into the room and say, "Play
7 h3 x" h2 q' ^2 u+ @! vwith your father” while she ducked into the kitchen and took a nip of" z& d; t2 y; X* X- m  {& w
sherry for herself.
4 ]( J% p$ X& x! m4 ^Mr. Harvey started to press his lips against mine. They were blubbery
% \1 F4 @' ?  Gand wet and I wanted to scream but I was too afraid and too exhausted
; L( w% C, ^/ _1 E/ b8 B. Nfrom the fight. I had been kissed once by someone I liked. His name was: @. Z1 c; c' W/ n% c% m7 c
Ray and he was Indian. He had an accent and was dark. I wasn't supposed/ A# ^1 h' {' L! O
to like him. Clarissa called his large eyes, with their half-closed: z# i) i  }# H$ |
lids, "freak-a-delic," but he was nice and smart and helped me cheat on
  w4 q. x1 k( B  E" ]my algebra exam while pretending he hadn't. He kissed me by my locker, o: d- j# X; S, p7 _6 ~+ \
the day before we turned in our photos for the yearbook. When the! D& m# I  \  }; H; q+ K  D" w$ ?
yearbook came out at the end of the summer, I saw that under his picture; J0 q. Z7 Q  @5 w( Z
he had answered the standard "My heart belongs to" with "Susie Salmon."
- \9 Y1 z3 s4 @  m, r% ?- N# cI guess he had had plans. I remember that his lips were chapped.
( F3 c' O0 j0 a/ x4 h1 b+ c( ["Don't, Mr. Harvey," I managed, and I kept saying that one word a lot.
8 k/ _( o! `+ I: T( d7 T, {Don't. And I said please a lot too. Franny told me that almost everyone' w2 u5 d5 K& z- D! X
begged "please" before dying.
/ M# N  O9 w$ d+ b; g"I want you, Susie," he said.
3 d6 @9 u! g8 Y+ U% F"Please," I said. "Don't," I said. Sometimes I combined them. "Please: ?& C% K. H8 e; C) ]+ z* x! c. }" `
don't" or "Don't please." It was like insisting that a key works when it
$ _+ }" H0 Q$ c, s" [4 Hdoesn't or yelling "I've got it, I've got it, I've got it" as a softball6 t3 E) Q6 m! }  y" V
goes sailing over you into the stands.4 J" e+ ~# q. `; K" z
"Please don't."8 I+ P7 r3 v. {& m- l
But he grew tired of hearing me plead. He reached into the pocket of
% q  D3 `4 }' ^* {3 K4 @my parka and balled up the hat my mother had made me, smashing it into
8 M4 r* l! T8 g- i/ xmy mouth. The only sound I made after that was the weak tinkling of
- B, j! w  V% F. o2 vbells.
7 v4 f3 H) O& l+ y; MAs he kissed his wet lips down my face and neck and then began to6 a) J" c9 I" F+ {' [! t3 E
shove his hands up under my shirt, I wept. I began to leave my body; I
8 @! d: v/ |* L2 U2 t# ?3 j+ Hbegan to inhabit the air and the silence. I wept and struggled so I- Y- X$ j+ T  y/ K* `7 z
would not feel. He ripped open my pants, not having found the invisible+ p9 r. B2 W4 L6 ~" ?9 j0 F
zipper my mother had artfully sewn into their side.
! I* x* W. ~  r7 g+ W; C"Big white panties," he said.; T! k! Q7 F  [& f% a( p
I felt huge and bloated. I felt like a sea in which he stood and" N0 g1 l: ~6 Z: q& L" S, C' H
pissed and shat. I felt the corners of my body were turning in on
4 F8 r7 I) |6 F2 X; K( {% Sthemselves and out, like in cats cradle, which I played with Lindsey
/ [# L. r. T; W# Ajust to make her happy. He started working himself over me.
, z2 Z) R" x4 u, G( W* P"Susie! Susie!" I heard my mother calling. "Dinner is ready."
7 [; X/ o0 e' k( w% ?6 oHe was inside me. He was grunting.
. u% G( s; J( p& f+ [9 ~"We're having string beans and lamb."
) X+ V8 l8 U0 }4 x. r+ X" c3 P0 ZI was the mortar, he was the pestle.7 d' Q0 E! X6 i8 a0 D) P& F
"Your brother has a new finger painting, and I made apple crumb cake."# z- l2 i! B- R- t1 m( B
"Why don't you get up?" Mr. Harvey said as he rolled to the side and
- X- V' L. ]- \4 L4 u1 Tthen crouched over me,6 o0 S) ?+ W5 l. f, k4 Z
His voice was gentle, encouraging, a lover's voice on a late morning.
7 `) k: y3 _+ S" dA suggestion, not a command.! g( I% E) u$ c1 b# K- e/ @
I could not move. I could not get up.
: L+ I- `% F" s! u( iWhen I would not - was it only that, only that I would not follow his
- E- z* [; ~/ f8 p4 V6 @) I6 bsuggestion?-he leaned to the side and felt, over his head, across the
' G8 q3 \+ f+ Pledge where his razor and shaving cream sat. He brought back a knife.
0 l9 L2 N0 S, e' |  h' G% h  \+ tUnsheathed, it smiled at me, curving up in a grin.
. Q) i, ?8 _/ U1 H  }. WHe took the hat from my mouth.: b% ]/ g1 W9 r6 H( i' b
"Tell me you love me," he said.
4 V; y; Y# c/ K. BGently, I did.
5 c9 e6 l! u+ ^' Q- N) ^9 i2 cThe end came anyway.
2 J1 H- R/ q' W( ]5 vMr. Harvey made me lie still underneath him and listen to the beating of) e& @0 w, G3 \9 i: u
his heart and the beating of mine. How mine skipped like a rabbit, and5 N" a% M7 A) z1 Q3 b, V- P8 O  F, f
how his thudded, a hammer against cloth. We lay there with our bodies
3 M$ Z2 W5 X) O9 j- Q3 Ctouching, and, as I shook, a powerful knowledge took hold. He had done% J# M  {* E+ h5 A, T4 U
this thing to me and I had lived. That was all. I was still breathing. I
: }6 Q& U6 ~6 C: yheard his heart. I smelled his breath. The dark earth surrounding us
1 F* r5 R' a% z) Ismelled like what it was, moist dirt where worms and animals lived their& y: S, Q* F4 Z, i( Q, i
daily lives. I could have yelled for hours.4 O2 B  O& L4 ]" `0 x
I knew he was going to kill me. I did not realize then that I was an
- ?7 t7 y! c( ^$ F- w8 Nanimal already dying.
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